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What effect do hugs
- and huggers - have?
By Brett Buckner
THE AN NISTON STAR
Women
will use it to define the difference between `like" and "love." Among men its
more of a contact sport Grandparents are notorious for doing it - often adding
a painful pinch on the cheek at the end.
Some folks do it for only seconds while others don't know when to let
go.
They are free to give and free to get. There's no minimum age
requirement. They don't cause cancer or cavities and are effective for treating
everything from bad dreams to skinned knees to bruised feelings.
We all do it, only some are more comfortable with it than others. Hugs - for
some they are love at arm's length while others squirm away as if slimy eels are
sliding down their backs.
In early observation of National Hugging Day, which wraps its arms
around us on Jan. 21, Star Assistant Features Editor Tosha Jupiter- a
self-professed "hugger" - attempted to get the required 12 hugs that some mental
health experts say are required for emotional development
While the Bee Gees crooned, "More Than a Woman" over the sound system,
Jupiter stalked Quirrtard Mall, asking total strangers, "Excuse me, could I
give you a hug?"
Again, these were total strangers.
Virtually all reacted the same - with a giant step backward, curious
grins and a `tiVIIAT?... WHY?" Yet after a moment's hesitation, 10 out of 12
gleefully complied with sincere hugs. Some even went back for seconds.
"I give hugs all the time," says Tammy Murphy, still bouncing and swaying
in her white sneakers. Tin a very spiritual person, and I believe its godly to
hug."
Art Moore, the self-professed "World's Biggest Hugger," took a break from
mall walking for a quick hug.
"I bet I've done 200 miles in this mall," he says, still leaning in
against Jupiter's shoulder, "and that's the first time. I've ever been hugged by
a beautiful stranger."
Sadly, not everyone wanted a hug. Two would-be huggees - two women, one
black and one white,
both of
whom appeared to be in their mid 40s - reacted with shock and disbelief before
offering a curt, "I'd rather not."
"And those are the people who looked like they needed hugs the most," Jupiter
says, still sounding perky. "Too bad."
But all in all, the experiment went well, especially for the hugger herself.
"I'm on a
hug high," Jupiter says, practically skipping to the car. In fact, studies have
shown that hugs can do wonders for a person's emotional, physical and
psychological well being.
""There's nothing better in the world for you than a hug," says Mike Christian,
author of The Art of Hugging. "It's a way of maintaining and improving daily
wellbeing."
It's all chemical, Christian explains. Scientists have discovered that
endorphins - the body's happiness inducers - are released after hugging and can
stay in the bloodstream for up to four hours.
"This can cause a slight euphoria, a high that's naturally produced by the
brain," Christian says from his home in
Hug and touch therapies now are recognized as essential tools for healing in
hospitals and medical centers around the world. The therapy is used to help
prevent pain, depression and anxiety, to bolster a patient's will to live. Tiny
hugs help premature babies who have been deprived of touch in their incubator to
grow and thrive.
Hug therapy also has been used on burn victims as a means for overcoming fear,
depression and isolation.
There are many likes and dislikes, dos and don'ts that define and divide our
nation - churchgoers and heathens, Democrat or Republican, Auburn or Alabama,
Cat People vs. Dog People. But few lines in the sand are harder to cross than
that which separates huggers and non-huggers.
"There are a lot of anti-huggers," Christian says in a delicate tone that makes
the term sound emotionally contagious. "Usually it's because they are more
introverted and shy or their family wasn't particularly affectionate. But
everyone - absolutely everyone - in the right surroundings enjoys a good hug."
"We need four hugs a day for survival," farnily therapist Kathleen Keating
writes in her book, Hug
Therapy.
"We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. And we need 12 hugs a day for growth.
A hug can change someone's life -if only for a moment"
Hugs come in many shapes, sizes, forms and functions. There are romantic hugs
and we're-justfriends hugs. "There are bear hugs, piggyback hugs,
lift-me-off-my-feet hugs and group hugs. You can hug a parent, a teacher, a
friend or a stranger. You can hug a pet, a stuffed animal. You can hug a tree.
You can even hug yourself.
And yet there's an art, etiquette if you will, to hugging. Despite their myriad
uses, there's such a thing as a "non-hug." Just because you're touching, doesn't
necessarily mean you're hugging.
The most common of these affection afflictions is the OneHanded, Double-Slap
Hug, also known as "burpin' the baby," mostly seen during bizarre male-bonding
rituals.
In performing this maneuver, smile, lean forward, but DO NOT step forward. Place
a hand behind the back of the man you are facing and pound once or twice hard
between shoulder blades - like burpin' a baby. It's a way of saying, "I'm huggin'
ya... but I'm hittin' ya, too."
If still feeling uncomfortable, after breaking away, laugh, punch your partner
in the shoulder and make derogatory comment about: the first "hot chick" you
notice.
"Many adults, especially men, somehow lose that ability to spontaneously
embrace, something as children we do without thinking," Christian says. "But
then you'll see men hugging in the most unlikely of places - football fields and
boxing rings. These guys, who are supposed to be. the most macho, are also the
quickest to put their arms around each other, signaling, 'We're friends. Now,
Fin gonna kill ya' Still, it doesn't really count as a true hug."
Other forms of "non-hugs," as defined by Dr. Sidney Simon, author of Caring,
Feeling, Touching, include:
The Aframe hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch. The half-hug,
where the huggers' upper bodies touch while the other half twists away. The
wallet rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips. The
jock-twirl in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other
person off the ground - often adding a twirl for effect